It was all for fun, the meal had ended and everyone gathered in the living room to sit around and mostly stare at my two nieces Caroline and Audrey— they are in fact the cutest children on the planet.
The idea of playing a game popped up and an overall positive reaction resulted in my mom searching for the Trivial Pursuit.
‘It’s not downstairs’
‘It’s not in the living room closet’
‘Did we leave it in Michigan?’
‘I think it’s in the coat closet in Michigan’
Eventually resulting in My Aunt Katie and cousin Connor going to get the 80’s Trivial Pursuit from their house, only about a 6 minute drive away.
Unbeknownst to me the 30 minutes or so of Trivial Pursuit, where I correctly knew the band that launched star Ricky Martin was ‘Menudo’, was only the beginning.
The main event of the night? Apples to Apples Junior
Quick description — ‘Each player has 7 red cards with nouns on them, and each round they must play one of those cards that they believe is most related to the green cards with adjectives on them.
I’ve played before, upwards of 18 times, and have faired well in the past.
We begin to play and I’m trying to get the pulse of the room, how people are judging and I’ve come to the conclusion that most of my family is playing it rational.
The green card is strong and the winning red card will be The Hulk.
I’ve got my strategy and I’m trying my best but it’s not working.
People are winning left and right around me and I get more and more in my head.
I’m second-guessing myself
Uncle Scott has 4 green cards already???
I can feel the sweat on my hands and wipe them on my jeans before taking a deep breath.
My hand is full of duds— sometimes you just have to throw cards away for the greener pastures of the draw pile. Or so I think.
I play ‘Minecraft’ on Regal to get it out of my hand and in exchange I get Paw Patrol!
What is this? Are other peoples hands this bad?
We’re about 40 minutes in and the last five rounds have been one by my mom, my dad and my uncle Scott. A echo chamber of boomer humor that the millennial need to get out of. This group-think and humor cannot keep bouncing around like this.
Finally, one of my brothers Max or Sam win one— I can’t remember because I’m so focused.
This is my chance, we’ve been razzing each other since ‘92, I must have some good idea on what goes on in their heads.
How wrong I was… I go on another cold streak and at this point the only two people that haven’t won a round are Bree and I.
Finally, the tryptophan hits us and we decided on one final round— this is my only chance.
The green card? ‘Unfortunate’
Kind of like my luck, I look down at my cards and have the same feeling I’ve had every other round, I’m as done as the turkey that my mom and dad cooked earlier that day.
I pass in my card, praying it’ll work out, but know that it’ll come up short.
The judge reads through the cards and finally picks the winner— ‘School Lunch’
I look across the room and see Bree perk up, ‘SCHOOL LUNCH? THAT’S MINE!”
Bree wins her first green card and leaves me as the only person in the family to not win a hand.
Life is not all about winning, but I must be honest, my ego was a little hit.
Good thing I’m so grateful for all of them, it made it a lot easier.
Adele has graced us with a new album and ‘30’ is just as wonderful as her past projects. Loved that she made Spotify take away the shuffle button— power move by Adele.
‘Snail Mail’ has come back with her second album ‘Valentine’ cover love in all stages, but mostly pure sadness. If you’re in the mood for something like that?? This is your chance.
Bree introduced me to ‘Maintenance Phase’ a podcast that deep dives on the falsehoods about wellness trends and fads. So far I’ve really enjoyed this episode on ‘Body Mass Index’ Jump in just like I’m about to!
Jake Wallach Weekly Spotify Playlist
From Scientific American and Tanya Lewis about ‘How To Upgrade Your Mask and Where To Get Them’ I found it super helpful as someone who is guilty of wearing not the most effective ones around.
Francesca Mari writes for the NYTMagazine about the insanity of the real estate market— using Austin, Texas as her avenue and the process is just tiring to read about.
The unlikely ‘Tik Tok hunks’. It’s not always swooped hair and abs, but sometimes glasses and a background in computer science.
‘Bad Lip Readings’ are the simplest of pleasures and if it is wrong, I in fact do not want to be right. Here is the Dune version.
The Beatles’ ‘Get Back’ is already so good, even though I’ve only seen one part. Especially happy I got to watch it with my parents. Favorite part so far is Paul McCartney coming up with ‘Get Back’ in like 2 minutes.
‘King Richard’ follows the father of Serena and Venus Williams— two of the most dominant athletes in history. Think Will Smith gave a great performance and it was enjoyable, classic sports movie formula.
Teaching Mabel the importance of (C)Hanukkah
Until Next Week (?)
See You In The Funny Papers
Party Rock,
Jake