I’m on a hunt for all of my “places” again. One of the integral parts of moving is to quickly solidify your places.
Having a friend in town? I got a place where we can get drinks!
Coffee on a Saturday morning? Oh, yeah, I got the perfect place.
What about a free and clean public bathroom when you’re doing errands? You bet I got a place.
Moving in November, I’m coming around to solidifying my places, but one I couldn’t feel 100% about until I solved one punishing(?) mystery, is there a bird living in my new gym?
Gyms in the city of Chicago have gotten out of control— the price for a monthly membership being an 8 year olds yearly allowance should be illegal.
SO! As the frugal millennial I am, I hit the yellow pages (reddit) for alternatives, and found the frugal choice for taxpayers in the Chicagoland area!
A certain amount of park district locations have a fitness center attached to their building. For a fraction of the cost you can exercise with your neighbors in a gym that most resembles a prison! If you can believe the City of Chicago park district parks aren’t Equinox level, but if I’m being honest, a slob like me doesn’t belong in an Equinox. I would spill or something, and people don’t spill in Equinox gyms.
After a couple months I’ve come to love my trips down to Horner Park Fitness Center during lunch. The close quarters and lingering stench make for a nice ambience, but the one thing I couldn’t get past was the “tweet tweet” call of a bird I’d hear every time I’d go.
I looked around the building for any evidence of bird life, nothing.
I made sure I wasn’t hearing any outside wildlife, too far from the door.
I even went so far to push up a ceiling tile to see if there was a colony living up there, obviously not.
I was stumped, and the only evidence I had gathered was it happen only ONCE every time I went. So trying to figure out where it was coming from was difficult.
One faithful day it all clicked— as I was huffing and puffing during my rest from my 10 sets of 500 weighted pull-ups, I coincidentally had my headphones out ready to hear where that bird was hiding.
Between my breath I hear it! My brain locates the sound direction and I snap my eyes to the wall, and there it is, a bird theme clock staring back at me.
Each hour a new bird, assumingely made for a midwestern basement but had found itself in the Horner Park Fitness Center.
I grab the clock off the wall and turn the clock to 11:59, wait the couples second, and when it strikes noon? “tweet tweet”.
However dumb I felt, and glad I didn’t ask the front desk if they were raising a bird in the managers’ office. I was glad to have solved this birdemic.
Finally, another place to add to the list.
”tweet tweet”
Capricorn from Vampire Weekend !!! By one look at me, I bet you could’ve guessed VW’s new music would be included. Think the new jams are good!
Why Do So Many Coffee Shops Look The Same from Decoder Ring. An interesting look at how with unlimited access to information across the globe, things start to drift towards all emulating one another.
Woo Woo with Rachel Dratch is a podcast from the aforementioned comedian, and all the spooky scary woo woo out there. Fun listen, recommended by good pal Mike Petrik!
Jake Wallach Weekly Spotify Playlist
A cover story from HIGHSNOBIETY on Andre 3000 and his life as a rapper turned flute player.
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner is my favorite book. of the month. Definitely behind on this one, believe it was super popular a couple years back, but glad I got around to it. A touching story of mother and daughter.
Dear friend, past roommate and neener Hudson Kyle recommended an NBA newsletter I am loving. Basketball Feelings from Katie Heindl great writing and have been loving it thus far.
Fun look into. the photography of Walter Iooss Jr. Famous for portraits of many famous athletes, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and more.
At this years Millrose Games, USA’s premier indoor track meet, Josh Kerr broke the 2 mile world record! Pretty cool if you got a spare 8 minutes
American Fiction, one of the few Best Picture nom’s I’ve seen this year. Thought it was a good flick. Not good or bad, but I could definitely tell this movie was based on a book. Does that make sense?
Referring someone that is considered the “third” as just jr. jr.. E.G. King George Jr. Jr.
Until Next Time,
See You In The Funny Papers
Party Rock,
Jake
Wooop woooop for Woo Woo!