5/1/24
A must read!
Bartering goes back all the way to 6000 BC, depending on your religious beliefs.
A skill as told as time, or as old as 6000 BC, depending on your religious beliefs.
Even though my ancestors from the beginning of time, or all the way back to 6000 BC, depending of your religious beliefs, have the skill to barter in their DNA, I unfortunately seem to have no skill in it.
I was tasked to sell an office chair that Bree and I had that we were no longer using, simple right?
My first thought, FB Marketplace!
I’ve sold things there before with much success, met some interesting people along the way. This encounter would not be a positive experience.
I take some photos of the office chair, I throw it up on FB, and let the chats start stacking up.
A woman jumped on the chair, with huge interest. I mean who could pass on an office chair that I was selling for 20 dollars.
Which is something I want to hone in on. Before I move forward, I want you to picture an office chair that someone would sell for 20 dollars, and then continue to read.
All good? Nice, let’s go.
I will refer to this woman as Nancy Pelosi for her anonymity.
Nancy Pelosi reached out with haste and wanted to pick up the chair that day at 5:30 pm
I said of course, and waited for Nancy Pelosi’s arrival.
Finishing up the final touches on the chair, the doorbell rings and I see Nancy Pelosi for the first time. I can immediately tell that she is unhappy.
“Well, this is not Used, Like New'“ - Nancy Pelosi
“What’s that?” - Jake Wallach
“Your listing said, Used, Like New” - Nancy Pelosi
“Oh, I didn’t know, I guess it’s not technically like new” - Jake Wallach
“Well, I don’t want this chair at all” - Nancy Pelosi
“Okay, well I’m sorry I don’t know to tell you” - Jake Wallach
“This is outrageous” - Nancy Pelosi *leaves*
After this I didn’t think much about it, until about 3 months later and I wanted to sell something else on FB Marketplace.
I creep into a section of the marketplace I’ve never seen before…. the reviews….
I see that I have a review, from none other than Nancy Pelosi.
Now, I will take responsibility that I did say it was ‘Used, Like New’, but I think you can infer the quality of the product from photos and the price (20 dollars). The thing I will not take responsibility for is Nancy Pelosi choosing to travel during rush hour. That was on her own accord or possibly IN her own accord.
All in all I have a 3 star FB Marketplace rating, because I begged another man awkwardly to give me 5 stars after I sold him some cube shelves.
I strive to do better at bartering like my ancestors from 6000 BC, depending on your religious beliefs.
Vampire Weekend’s newest, ‘Only God Is Above Us’ is a classic ‘old guys still got it!’ reinvention. You can’t take mine or Pitchfork’s review seriously on this one. Way too biased. I loved it though.
‘Cowboy Carter’ from Beyoncé is not a country album, it’s a Beyoncé album. I want to go on record with I like covers— think covers are fun.
Been specifically working and pacing my apartment to this 70’s Japanese Funk / Jazz playlist on Spotify, and it is absolutely mint
Jake Wallach Weekly Spotify Playlist
Vox says the USA is becoming more compassionate! After a bit of a skid, we’re back to being nice to one another
Adam Reiner’s article about Trader Joe’s ‘private labeling’ of popular small brand products that populates their shelves, specifically ‘diversity brands’.
Artist Stuart Semple taking on brands that trademark colors and making them more accessible to the broader public! Tiffany, Barbie all caught in the mix. Man, I must be on a trademark kick this month
Bandit Running is a boutique running company in NYC, I first heard about them from a photographer i love, Joe Greer, but really liked this look behind the creative work on their spring campaign! Although, all their stuff is way too expensive for me to warrant purchasing.
Does everyone know that this dude Mozart was composing music at age 5????? This Dance Dance Revolution style video of Mozart’s composition progression from 5 to 35 is unreal.
Big fan of Conan O’Brien’s new endeavor from (HBO) Max, Conan Must Go. He travels the world and makes fun of people, what he is best at.
When it was my birthday, I thought in my head— ‘this stranger doesn’t even know I’m king of today’.
Until Next Time,
See You In The Funny Papers
Party Rock,
Jake
Newsletter review: 5 out of 5!